Elder oaks dating versus hanging out

If you don’t know what a date is, perhaps this definition will help. A ‘date’ must pass the test of three s: (1) planned ahead, (2) paid for, and (3) paired off. Marriage is not a group activity—at least not until the children come along in goodly numbers” ( [CES fireside for young adults, May 1, 2005], 5–6). in the single scene in general.” A few men complained that women turned them down when they asked for dates or that it was women who weren’t willing to move toward family commitments. but feel powerless to reform the entire system on their own.” This woman thanked me for placing on each of us what she called “the personal responsibility to act,” and added that she had identified ways that she could “discourage hanging out and encourage, instead, a culture of dating.” As an example of that, another letter (one of my favorites) had a picture of the sign on the door to her apartment. ” Another woman reported that her sister had married a man she met in hanging out.“Young women, resist too much hanging out, and encourage dates that are simple, inexpensive, and frequent. [i]f we are to persuade young men to ask for dates more frequently, we must establish a mutual expectation that to go on a date is not to imply a continuing commitment. Now, that’s the end of my quotes from my talk of two and a half years ago. I received some letters of thanks, mostly from women. Some affirmed what one referred to as “the lamentable dating situation . One letter said that “many young single adults in the Church are frustrated with the ‘hanging out’ culture . They had not done much dating, so neither of them had learned to pair off in a social setting.

For the benefit of the audiences out there, I want to say what a large group of young adults we have in the Pocatello area.

Start with a variety of dates with a variety of young women, and when that phase yields a good prospect, proceed to courtship. That is what the Lord intends for His young adult sons and daughters.

Men have the initiative, and you men should get on with it. “My single young friends, we counsel you to channel your associations with the opposite sex into dating patterns that have the potential to mature into marriage, not hanging-out patterns that only have the prospect to mature into team sports like touch football.

After considering this for a few days, she informed him that she was not interested. that it would be easy for us when it was never, ever easy for Him? Never let any trials stand between you and your allegiance to your Heavenly Father. Elder Oaks and I both know very well what it is like to be a single member of this Church.

A few months went by, and then my fireside address provided some needed impetus. I am convinced that missionary work is not easy because salvation is not a cheap experience.” (And I would add that a university experience or this life experience is not easy because it is not a cheap experience.) “Salvation never was easy. Never let any insult or challenge separate you from partaking of the sacrament and lead you to spiritual weakness and possibly to a spiritual death. He was a widower for 2 years, and I was single for more than 50 years. ) We know what loneliness is and what it feels like to weep at night until your pillow is wet.

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I then gave this advice, which I quote from that fireside talk: “Men, if you have returned from your mission and you are still following the boy-girl patterns you were counseled to follow [before you were 16], it is time for you to grow up.

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